Ever thought you were on the same page as someone, only to find out you weren’t even in the same book?
It happens all the time in sales.
We’re laser-focused on our agenda, our pitch, or our excitement to connect, that we assume the person we’re talking to is right there with us.
Spoiler alert: They might not be.
Take this scenario: You’re psyched for a meeting, you have a deal-winning solution, and you are ready to dive in and close the deal. Meanwhile, your buyer might be stressed, distracted, or even skeptical. The disconnect? Their version of the story, not yours, and if you’re not tuned into their perspective, the conversation could slide off the rails.
Here are three common culprits behind this disconnect and how to crush them to make space for more meaningful connections.
1. Poor Listening: Are You Really Hearing Them?
Let’s be honest: listening is hard work. Your brain processes language at over 600 words per minute, but most people speak at just 150-175 words per minute. That leaves your mind with a lot of free space to wander – and jump to conclusions.
It’s like watching a movie but skipping 15 minutes ahead because you think you already know what happens. Guess what? You may have missed the plot twist.
The Antidote:
- Approach the conversation remembering you have been away while their work was continuing. Be genuinely curious about all that has happened since you saw them last.
- Treat conversations like a podcast episode – listen actively, not passively.
- Resist the urge to interrupt, predict, or finish their sentences.
- Stay present. If your mind starts wandering, refocus by asking clarifying questions like, “Can you elaborate on that?” or “What does that mean for you?” Here is a whole list of questions you may want to ask.
2. The Familiarity Trap: Assuming You Already Know
When you know someone well – like a long-time client or a co-worker – it’s easy to think, I’ve got this. This false security can breed less attention instead of the full attention they deserve. Don’t forget, it took a long time to earn this relationship, we want to keep it.
Assuming is not an effective communication strategy. How many times have you misunderstood someone close to you, like a partner or best friend? If it happens with them, it can absolutely happen with customers.
The Antidote:
- Approach every conversation with fresh eyes and ears.
- Ask open-ended questions to fully understand each situation: “What does [that term] mean to you?” or “How do you see this playing out?” or “What will be the impact to the business if this does or doesn’t happen?”
- Words may have definitions in the dictionary, but their true meaning comes from the people who use them. Each individuals’ experiences and emotions shape the meaning of the words they use in conversations. Your job is to decode them.
3. Your Personal Filters: Seeing the World Through Your Lens
We all interpret the world through a unique set of filters built from our values, experiences, fears, and biases.
Think of how binoculars help focus on a subject far away; however, blocking out all the surrounding views may not reveal the big picture. We may be looking at a row of wildflowers and miss the herd of buffalo off to the East.
An example: A freelancer working from home is buying a desk. The salesperson shows them a stylish and expensive designer desk.
The salesperson says, “This desk is handcrafted from imported oak, designed by a top Italian artist, and makes a bold statement in any office.
The customer says, “I just need something sturdy and functional that fits in my small home office space.”
The salesperson replies, “But imagine how sophisticated your workspace will look! It’s a real conversation starter.”
In this case, the salesperson is focused on aesthetic appeal and prestige, while the customer’s priorities are practicality and affordability.
The Antidote:
- Recognize that your perspective isn’t the only one.
- When in doubt, ask a question: “Thank you for sharing that with me. Your perspective is important. Can you say more about that or share an example?”
- Stay curious. Seeking understanding helps push your filters aside to have a clear view of the customer’s perspective.
Final Takeaway: Make It About Them
While it is human nature to be in our own “Odds Are”, at the end of the day the only perspective that matters in selling is the customer’s. Focusing elsewhere is a recipe for disaster or a buffalo stampede!
In other words, put the binoculars down!
When you make it your business to deeply connect to their world, their challenges, goals, and vantage point – you create the opportunity for authentic connection.
That’s where the magic happens.
By actively listening, letting go of assumptions, and staying genuinely curious, you’ll do more than just engage with customers, you will earn their trust and build relationships that prosper.
Your mission? Ditch the “there is nothing new here” mindset and master the art of listening to understand. The proof will emerge in your customer relationships and your results.
